London to Bedford by Lewie Gentilella

London to Bedford

Overhead lights blinding
Eyes pinballing around the carriage 
A million voices echoing
Hyenas cackling in the background 
Skin on fire
Stomach tied in knots
Sweaty armpits
Clammy palms
Mind racing
A deer trapped in headlights 
Frozen stiff
Unable to move
An overbearing smell of body odour lingers
A poison to my olfactory system
I dissolve into a corner 
Hoping no one will notice me
Desperately trying not to make eye contact 
Otherwise, they will know
Know what?
Know that I'm 'different'
Know that I'm 'weird'
Know that I'm vulnerable 
Anxiety strangles me
A snake wrapped tight around its prey
Struggling to breathe
Struggling to cope
Is anybody out there?
Anybody who understands?
Anybody who cares?
Far from home
Feeling all alone
In need of help
In need of care
In need of love
Before I implode 
The train finally stops! 
Thank God!
And like a herd of wilder beast on a mass migration
Everyone empties at once
Boxed in
STUCK
Looking for a way out
But with nowhere to go
Clenching my teeth and fists
I grin and bear it 
Carrying on uncomfortably
Trying to fit in
Hearing a thousand footsteps surrounding me
Pounding the pavement 
A violent stampede
Heavy breathing felt either side of me
I'm exhausted and ready to give up
Until suddenly 
I see the station exit up ahead
I'm nearly there 
Just one more push
Now I'm finally free!